Open for Business
by Lucy Kay
Summary: Persuasive Papers. This busy company is responsible for all of those terrible brochures that lure all of our favorite farmers to far from perfect lands. Coffee shortages, sexual harassment, and stolen staplers. Based lightly on the hit television show The Office. AU. HM characters from all across the board with a focus on Vaughn in a neck tie. :)
1. Welcome to the Office

I am not affiliated nor do I own any rights to any televised version of _The Office_ or the following Harvest Moon franchises: Tree of Tranquility/Animal Parade, Island of Happiness/Sunshine Islands, A New Beginning, More/Friends of Mineral Town, Grand Bazaar, Magical Melody, or Save the Homeland/Hero of Leaf Valley. This is a non-profit, fictitious comedy.

This is rated T for language and suggestive themes.

**A/N**: Disclaimers done with – _I am completely insane._ I've got a million stories to write and two jobs with impossible hours. So why the hell am I writing this? Well… honestly, I just felt like it. And I'm stuck on my next new story. And most of the stories I write are to improve my writing, but this one is just for fun. It is my playground. So that's that.

Though it feels more drabble-based because chapters rarely connect or refer back to one another, there is a continuous plot woven throughout. So don't worry about a thing – a story is indeed in this jargon.

If you're familiar with _The Office_, you're probably wondering how I'm going to tackle the documentary aspect. Since this is in written form, I find it would be much too confusing and messy to try that. So I'll just have dialogue and inner thoughts. Sorry, but I'm determined not to disappoint!

Enjoy the story, everybody! If there are any particular office scenarios that I haven't thought of, or you want to see, just give a shout. I'll be happy to make things crazier for our poor people at Persuasive Papers Inc.! :D

* * *

**Welcome to the Office**

* * *

Vaughn sighed, tapping his foot impatiently in front of the elevator. He looked down at his watch, holding a cup of hot coffee in his other hand and his black briefcase under his arm. It wasn't one of those fancy, designer ones like Allen's or meticulously well-organized like Gill's. Vaughn bought his in the back-to-school section at Staples. Because he didn't give a shit.

_Come on…_ Vaughn grumbled, rapidly pressing the up arrow a few more times. He watched the steam escaping through the plastic lid on his coffee. He couldn't decide if he even liked coffee. But at Persuasive Papers, it was a _need._

_Ding! _

"Finally!" Vaughn rolled his eyes as the elevator jarred loudly in front of him. The smeared silver doors pealed back with a disconcerting creek. An old man with a mop and yellow bucket was the only other person inside. Vaughn boarded and quickly pressed three. Four was already lit up.

"Late again, eh?" He asked with a light sneer.

"Morning, Terry…" Vaughn tapped the button to close the doors quicker. It was an illusion. The doors never closed quicker. They finally began to slide shut as Vaughn picked a stray straw wrapper from his hair. "Truck was giving me trouble…"

"Uh-huh. By the look of it, you had one too many drinks again. Denny giving you _peer pressure?_" The old man chuckled, leaning against the mop handle. He leaned too hard and the bucket's wheels pitched him off balance. He staggered and cleared his throat. "Shouldn't be drinking on a Sunday, boy. You'll look like shit on Monday morning."

"Shouldn't you be cleaning something?" Vaughn changed the subject. He didn't think he'd look as shit-faced as he felt. He took a swig of the scalding coffee, wincing as it burned the back of his throat and tongue.

The janitor snorted. He rubbed his bulbous nose. "Gill says he'll give me the boot if I don't swab up the restroom."

"You're just going to stand in there and look busy, aren't you?" The elevator rumbled to a stop.

"That's the plan," Terry admitted.

Vaughn grinned, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. "Have a nice day, Terry."

The old man tipped his brown cap to him as Vaughn stepped out, the doors closing behind him.

The constant ring of telephones, fake friendly voices chatting on the line, the clash of staplers, and button punching bombarded his ears the moment the elevator released him. He had once again entered the world of ties and button up shirts, blouses and pencil skirts. Vaughn stared at the bustle and sighed, walking as quickly as he could to his desk across the room.

"Vaughn! Lovely morning, hm?" A red-headed, be-speckled man blocked his path. His clothes were all top of the line – blue suit and tie, from none other than Armani. Brown leather shoes, only Gucci. Smug look, courtesy of Douche Bag Warehouse.

Vaughn glared at him, heavy bags under his eyes.

Allen lightly laughed, giving Vaughn's silver hair a ruffle. "Aw, had a rough night?"

Luckily before he could be interrogated, out jumped Vaughn's most unlikely rescue. The dynamic duo and _bane_ of the office.

Luke swung his arm around Allen's shoulder with a crooked smile. Again, he wasn't following the corporate dress code, waltzing around in jeans and a T-shirt. But Hamilton always allowed him and Tina to get away with anything. '_They're the creativity department! They need to let their energy flow!'_ Or some tripe like that. Whatever it was, it drove Gill up the wall. So they weren't all bad.

"Morning, Allen!" Tina chirped from his opposite side, tucking her short brown hair behind her ear. She held up her camera and quickly snapped an unnecessary picture of his profile with a giggle.

"We need you to look at the Harmonica report!" Luke punched Allen's shoulder and got a sharp glare he seemed oblivious to. "Come on, it's your job to ship these bad boys out! And you're our favorite editor!"

"And we don't want to proofread it!" Tina smiled.

"Where's Rod? Can't you get him for this menial labor?" Allen scoffed, removing Luke's hand from his shoulder with a look of disgust.

"Right here, Allen!" Rod seemed to appear from nowhere, hopping up with as much energy as the source team.

"Ah, there's my favorite little gremlin," Allen said, flicking the hair from his face and placing a sassy hand on his hip. "Won't you take care of this troublesome report?"

"But we're a team, Allen," the ginger haired boy reminded, a positive attitude just exuding from him in clouds. "It'll be fun!"

"As much fun as Vaughn's morning, I'm sure…" Allen grumbled, being pulled away.

But Vaughn was already long gone. Dodging his colleagues rushing about and passing the reception desk where little, mousy Molly sat. Just a glance at her would fool anyone into thinking she was as sweet as Georgia tea, but Vaughn had an alliance with her against the Assistant Regional Manager - Gill. She was as sly as a fox, and the pranks they pulled together were legendary.

"Just one moment, sir, I'll connect you to the Regional Manager," Molly said into the phone at her ear, typing away busily at her monitor.

Vaughn gave her a nod in passing which she returned with a smile, juggling the phone to her other ear as she reached for the receiver and the next call on hold. "Yes, right away! Persuasive Papers would be very happy to help you with your problem, sir. I'll connect you to a higher department right away—"

Vaughn dropped his things on his desk with a heavy sigh. Papers were scattered everywhere, none of his supplies matched, and he didn't even want to imagine what was in the file cabinets and drawers. Those were dark places, only to be visited on rare occasions. As the lone sales representative of the brochure company, Vaughn's job was on the telephone and in his notebook. He switched on the desk light and tapped the blinking phone. Eleven missed calls.

He fell into his swivel chair and opened his briefcase, pulling the essentials out of it. Looking over the aisle to the desk across from him, Vaughn's face blanched as the larger office chair swiveled around to reveal a very irate looking young man with such light blond hair it almost looked white under the fluorescents.

"You're late," he stated, pressing his fingertips together, looking like Dr. No on a bad day.

Vaughn stared flatly at him. He knew it was better to avoid an argument.

"Two minutes and twenty-four seconds," Gill elaborated, snatching a stack of papers on his desk and straightening them to perfection. "Two minutes and twenty-four seconds longer than your usual five minutes and thirty-seven seconds late. Very… unusual."

His piercing blue eyes stabbed Vaughn on the last word, hoping to create an intimidating effect. Vaughn would have been intimidated if he didn't already know what a sleazy coward he was. Vaughn grabbed a stray pencil rolling around his desk and poised it over his notebook, preparing to review the missed calls. He didn't bother acknowledging Gill.

"Hm," he said. With each tap of the papers, he said again: "Hm, hm, hm."

Vaughn pressed the play button and listened closely to his headset over the roar._ "Hello? Is this Persuasive Papers? I'm from Harmonica Town calling about that brochure we ordered—"_

Gill slammed his hands down onto Vaughn's desk, making him jump. _How'd he get here so fast!?_ "Tardiness is a viable outlet to getting yourself _fired_, Mr. Vaughn. Keep that in mind."

"You have no power," Vaughn grumbled, deleting the message and moving onto the next.

Gill's face wrinkled in anger, but before he could get out a retaliation, the boss's door opened with a bang. "Oh, Giiilll~? Can I see you in my office for a moment? This week's budget has been finalized by Louis and Candace – I want you to look over it!"

He sighed. "Yes… Mr. Hamilton. Right away, sir."

Vaughn watched him go, receiving a threatening 'I'm watching you' gesture before Gill disappeared inside the manager's office. Vaughn busied himself with his work after that. He made his phone calls, marketing the business and selling it like it was the shit. It was not the shit. It was just shit.

_What kind of company makes exaggerated, falsified tourist brochures for run-down towns?_ Persuasive Papers promised to fool any ignorant passerby into visiting or even buying real estate before even looking over the properties. And Vaughn's job was to find seedy villages to sell their service to.

Leaning back in his chair as far as it would go, feet on his desk, Vaughn held the phone to his ear as he recited the same old spiel over again. "Yes, sir, I'm sure Persuasive Papers is the perfect fit for your needs. If you want to draw people to your town, we're the company you're looking for. May I transfer you to our product department? Our source team will be happy to speak with you also in order to work out all the best points of your brochure…"

He trailed off, staring at the empty reception desk. Quickly, Vaughn ended the call the first chance he got and hurried to the break room. Though it was midday, his coffee wasn't empty. He tossed it in the bin for an excuse to get more from the sputtering coffee machine in the back.

The blinds on the glass door shuddered as Vaughn pulled it open. The door swung closed behind him with a racket. Inside the little room with a kitchenette for the employees were Molly and Candace, talking and giggling about something. Upon his entrance, the girls stopped their chatter and turned around.

"Need another pick me up?" Molly asked, sipping her own rancid coffee.

"Yeah… rough day," Vaughn nodded, taking a Styrofoam cup and filling it from the lukewarm pot. The coffee was terrible, but at least he got to see Candace…

Candace, the blue haired beauty, was in accounting with Louis. He was rather an insufferable nerd, but he was nice. Stereotypical glasses and pocket protectors and obsession with mathematics. He screamed virgin. His coworker Candace though was shy and dainty and very sweet and soft spoken. Vaughn could never say it out loud, but he had a desperate crush on her. That everyone seemed to know about except her.

Her big blue eyes examined Vaughn as he tasted the coffee. "R-Rough day? I'm sorry to hear that, Vaughn…"

"I bet it's Gill," Molly swung her legs from where she was sitting on the yellow counter. "I heard him threatening to fire you this morning."

"Oh my!" Candace gasped, hands going over her mouth. She turned further around in her chair to face Vaughn. "He wouldn't do that, w-would he?"

"He's just a lot of talk…" Vaughn shrugged. He enjoyed the attention Candace was giving him though. She'd be pretty put out if he was gone…

Molly rolled her eyes at the daydreaming expression on Vaughn's face. She tossed her unfinished coffee in the trash can under the sink. She leaned over and snapped her fingers in his purple eyes, literally snapping him out of it. "Ahem. Yeah, I don't think there's anything to worry about. Mr. Hamilton is happy with our little office group. I doubt Gill could convince him to get rid of anybody. Especially our only sales representative."

No one in the room remarked on Molly's logic as an awkward silence fell. Candace pulled at the sleeves on her airy white blouse, hiding her hands. Her hair looked very nice today, piled on top of her head in a loose bun. Her small nose was pointed at the ground where her eyes seemed to be fixed to the grey carpeting.

Allen opened the door and practically fell inside. He closed it quickly behind him, nearly running into Vaughn. "Phew! Sweet relief!"

"Hello, Allen!" Molly smiled, crossing her legs and placing her hands on her knees. Vaughn noticed her black pencil skirt was shorter than usual. He gave her a disbelieving look she ignored as she focused on impressing Allen.

"Candace, my lovely, I've missed you!" Allen leaned down and gave Candace a kiss on the cheek. Her face turned the color of a tomato as she squeaked and held the spot like she was slapped.

Molly's shoulders relaxed into her usual posture, her arms folding across her torso. She glared protectively for her friend's sake. "Allen, you know she hates it when you do that! We ought to report you for sexual harassment…"

Allen leaned against the refrigerator. "Mm, sexual~"

Both Molly and Vaughn rolled their eyes as the door opened once again. Peeking into the room was Louis, the round glasses perched on his nose reflecting the light. He pushed them up his nose, revealing brown eyes hidden under sloppy dark hair. "Uh, Candace? I need you back in accounting… sorry!"

Candace nodded, quickly rising. She avoided Allen like the plague and whispered a good-bye to Molly. Passing Vaughn, she stared for a moment before giving him a small wave. She scurried out after Louis, Rod taking her place through the door.

"Allen! There you are!" Rod smiled, entering the break room. "Alice was looking for you. Said you have to see something."

Allen groaned and slouched against the refrigerator door. "Probably Dan sleeping at his desk again. She's determined to document it every time and make a collaboration for YouTube."

Rod laughed, rubbing the back of his head. His light green button up shirt was rolled up to the elbows much like Vaughn's white one. Vaughn recognized the shirt from Wal-Mart. It was nice to know that even though Rod was Allen's closest friend (no one knew how this had occurred), he wasn't as vain as him. They evened each other out. "Sounds like fun! Will it be a time lapse or—?"

The door opened wider behind Rod. Gill poked his head into the room, frustration in every line of his face. "What are you all doing crowding the break room? Get back to work!"

Everyone rolled their eyes and slowly filed out. Gill tapped his foot, watching them all leave. He looked down at Molly's feet. "Where are your shoes, Miss Molly? It's against dress code to go walking around bare foot."

Molly shrugged. "Must've left them under my desk. And I'm not bare foot, I have stockings on…"

"When you step on a staple and sue the company for health benefits, don't say I didn't warn you!" Gill called after her.

Vaughn walked side by side with her back to their desks. "What a Nazi…" she muttered.

"Just another day in paradise," Vaughn said, leaving her as he went to sit back at his own desk.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. All Vaughn could think about was finally asking Candace out. _He wasn't some loser teenager anymore. He was a grown man. He shouldn't be so terrified of the idea – especially with a girl like Candace! It should be simple with a girl like her. Then again, a rejection from someone so kind would probably hurt twice as bad…_

Vaughn pulled his head up from his desk with a start. _Had he dozed off?! _Quickly looking across the way, he saw Gill's desk was mercifully empty. At the reception desk, he saw Molly packing away her things.

He jumped up, stuffing everything into his briefcase haphazardly. He punched it shut and switched off his desk lamp, rubbing his eyes.

"Feel better after your nap?" Molly smiled sweetly.

Vaughn glowered. He shook his head to clear away the cobwebs in his brain. "Yeah, actually… Where's Candace?"

"_Finally_ gonna do it, eh?" She continued to tease. Vaughn wasn't laughing, so she threw a thumb over her shoulder and snapped her purse closed. "She took the stairs not even a minute ago."

"Thanks," he said shortly, making his way to the elevator. _Maybe he could beat her to the first floor…_

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Molly fist pumped and laughed, heading for the stairs.

_Just ask her out right. Don't beat around the bush. Just… do it! Say: 'Candace, would you like to go for drinks?' No, not drinks. She probably isn't the type. And the last thing you need to do is get yourself wasted in front of her—_

"Vaughn~! Where've you been all day?" A sickeningly sweet voice called. A girl wearing the tightest black dress she could find that would still fit dress code blocked his path, standing a little too close for comfort.

"Alice," he grunted. _This routine again…_ "I'm in a hurry."

"Oh?" She asked, tilting her head sideways. Her dangling earrings followed her under her long silver hair. Her green eyes sparkled mischievously as she adjusted his black tie. "Darn, you must be busy. I was hoping we could get a couple drinks tonight…"

"In a hurry," Vaughn repeated, trying to step past her.

Alice pushed against his chest in urgency. She pouted. "I-I wanted to ask you about the Harmonica Town brochure! You know how Dan is – I have to edit it all by myself! Couldn't you just look it over real quick? For me?"

"Sorry, Alice. Tomorrow," he inwardly cursed himself for saying that. She would hold him to it.

Alice's face fell angrily, but she perked right back up as Vaughn marched towards the elevator. She waved. "Okay! Tomorrow! You promised~!"

Vaughn groaned, waiting for the elevator. _Come on, come on, come on! Candace is probably already out of the building by now…_

_Ding!_ The doors opened and Vaughn scrambled inside, rapidly pressing one.

Again, the only other passenger was the old janitor. The elevator was his favorite hiding spot to avoid the work waiting for him all throughout the building. He stared at Vaughn bouncing on his heels. "Gotta piss or something?"

"No! I'm trying to…" Vaughn nearly explained. He turned to the janitor, the only person in the office he didn't mind talking to all the time. "You should at least clean the elevator. Would explain why you're always in here."

Terry shrugged. "It's an idea."

Vaughn knew it was just an idea. Terry hadn't removed that mop from the bucket in over a year, and he doubted that record would break any time soon. The elevator lurched suddenly, the lights going out. They were trapped halfway between floors. The red service light blinked.

Vaughn groaned and hit his head against the wall.

"Ha!" Terry laughed in the darkness. "Happy Monday."


	2. The Hottest Day of the Year

Thanks for the support, guys! Three reviews (on just the first chapter) are _awesome_, so thank you so much Icefeather, HersheyChoco101, and CAPJHMPAgirl!

More f-ery to happen in the office today. Mostly because I miss warm weather. Already. D:

So they get to _suffer_ the warmth!

* * *

**The Hottest Day of the Year**

* * *

"I have a great idea, everybody!" Hamilton bounced out of his office and onto the main floor.

Everyone peered over the tops of their cubicles. Candace and Louis had a separate room for accounting, as did Tina and Luke as the source team, but their doors were always open. Four heads poked into the room to see their boss cavorting about gallantly.

Hamilton was… a character. As Regional Manager, whatever he had to say: goes. But everyone also knew that even though Hamilton held the power, the real boss was his underling Gill, a.k.a. Assistant to the Regional Manager. Every bit of sense that came out of their sector of Persuasive Papers was under Gill's watchful eye. He oversaw production, organized the office, and kept everything running. Whereas Hamilton enjoyed curling his grey hair to massive, Willy Wonka heights and reintegrating into what he liked to call 'youth culture.' This meant he blasted Beyoncé and overly used the words 'yo' and 'swag.'

Still. The little, rotund man Hamilton was boss. And today, he felt like flexing that power.

Hamilton clapped his hands together as if he hadn't gotten anyone's attention already. He pulled tight his ridiculous blue suit jacket and smiled wide. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! All eyes on me, yes? Boobs facing this way?"

Oh, and he was a pervert.

"Great!" Hamilton nodded, lingering by his office door in the awkward silence. He swung his arms, getting ready for the big news – and the onslaught of anger that he would make Gill deal with. "The budget's been settled; by none other than our lovely Candace and Four-Eyes over there. But we're a bit down this month. Boo-hoo! Darn…"

Everyone eyed each other, wondering what this was supposed to mean. Alice raised her hand like she was in school, except she was heavily leaning forward to display her red v-neck. _Trying to keep herself safe, no doubt._ "Does this mean there will be downsizing?"

It worked. Hamilton ogled for a moment before snapping back into his peppy personality. "Rumors! Those are… rumors! And rather unhappy ones at that, so none of that talk, Miss Alice, or I'll have to _punish_ you," he laughed boisterously.

Alice tried to smile it off and failed miserably, slowly sinking back into her chair and pulling her shirt collar closed.

Molly wrinkled her eyebrow. "So there's no downsizing?"

"Molly!" Hamilton pointed at her Fonzie-style. "Hey, babe, remember that little talk we had?"

"I'm here as eye candy, not to think…" Molly grumbled, crossing her arms. "Or ask questions."

"Right-o!" Hamilton praised. Getting back on topic, he scratched his round nose and looked at the desks closest to him – Vaughn and Gill's. "Um… So to increase revenue, I've decided to turn off the air conditioning! I'll be in my office!"

As fast as he had skipped out, he had skipped back in. The door slammed shut, followed by an almost imperceptible click of a lock. The workers looked around in disbelief, jaws dropped – anger and confusion in their faces.

August was going to suck.

* * *

Vaughn loosened his tie, pulling his shirt collar away from his neck. Propping his elbow up on his messy desk, he rested his head in his palm. He ruffled his hot hair in frustration, soon with both hands, before throwing his forehead down in defeat.

Hot rays of sun clouded the glass windows. They were opened wide, but August didn't have much air flow. Not a breeze entered the sticky office. Only more hot, stagnant air.

Everyone had different ways of coping with the heat, with little to no work being done. Molly drank gallons of water, often disappearing for another bathroom break. Allen had Rod fanning him with a manila envelope. Vaughn was about to take up Dan's strategy of sleeping through it, when a swivel chair slammed against a desk across the room.

"Screw this!" Alice hissed. She furiously unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a lacy black bra as it fell from her shoulders. "I'd rather be laid off than fry like this!"

Gill was immediately there, attempting to look everywhere except her viciously glaring chest or face. He tapped his foot impatiently. "Dress code, Miss Alice! Shirts must be worn at all times in the office!"

"Bite me," she threatened, sitting back down in her chair and organizing her paperwork.

"Alice, you must put your shirt back on!" Gill demanded. A red blouse was thrown in his face followed by a few 'ooo's and laughs around the office. Allen had the audacity to whistle.

Gill scrambled away like it was laced with Anthrax. His face the color of the shirt, he pointed a finger at her, his light blond hair frizzing from the heat. "If you don't put your shirt back on this very instant, you're fired!"

Alice swiveled around, perfect posture as she flipped her silver hair over her shoulder very sassily. "My daddy's a senator, and my mother's a cop. I'll sue you for everything you could possibly be worth, you little prude. And if you look at my chest one more time, I'll call it sexual harassment."

It was obvious enough that Alice didn't have to put her shirt back on. But she would be the only one in the office since no one else's daddy was a senator.

Molly unbuttoned the first two buttons on her white baby doll top. Gill was walking back to his desk with his tail between his legs and caught this. "Button up, Miss Molly, this isn't a brothel."

Her jaw dropped. "Aw, come _on_—" the look she received made her meek. She fastened them again. "Oh, fine…"

Things quieted down again. A fly buzzed around Vaughn's face, which wouldn't leave no matter how much he swatted it away. There hadn't been a telephone call all day, so he busied himself with transferring his written notes to the computer. Even the black keys of the keyboard were sticking in the heat.

Allen popped his head over the top of Vaughn's cubicle, peering around in disgust. "_What_ is that smell?"

Vaughn looked up and around. Soon, his face wrinkled as well. "Smells like… rotten eggs…"

Molly held her nose frantically pointing to the office door next to her reception desk. Allen shrugged. Vaughn called out. "Hey, Luke! Tina! What is that?"

There was silence for a moment before Luke appeared in the doorway. His blue button up to match his hair was stained with sweat. "What's what?"

"That smell!" Molly said, holding both hands over her nose and mouth.

"Oh!" Luke laughed. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Must've been that old spinach and mayonnaise sandwich I found in my desk! Sick, right?"

Alice shrieked when he brought out a trashcan, the stink intensifying in the main office.

"Man, gross…" Vaughn shook his head.

"How's Tina suffering that?" Rod piped up, still fanning Allen off and on whenever he remembered.

"Tina?" Luke asked, scrunching his brow in thought. "Dunno. She fell asleep awhile ago."

"More like passed out!" Allen said.

"Get it out of here!" Alice whimpered.

"Whoa, what'd I miss?" Dan unstuck his face from his desk, looking around frantically. He inhaled. "That wasn't me, right?"

Alice was acting like an elephant with a mouse in the room. "No, it's that God-awful sandwich!"

"Get rid of it Luke," Gill calmly ordered from his desk, penciling in some paperwork without looking up.

"I did! It's in the trash," Luke defended, holding up the offending bin.

Everyone recoiled. It being closest to Dan, he looked it up and down, holding a hand to his brown nose. "Man, that's nasty."

"Get rid of it!" Alice repeated, her voice pitching higher.

"Where?" Luke asked.

"Take it outside?" Rod suggested, rolling his sleeves up higher.

"No way, man, I've got a ton of work to do!" Luke said, leaving the trash can and going back into his office.

"What's going on out here? Did someone let off a stink bomb?" Louis peered out of his shared office, Candace close to gagging behind him.

"It's Luke's disgusting sandwich!" Alice cried, legitimately near tears.

"Everyone, calm down!" Gill projected his voice, picking up the phone and dialing. "I'll call Terry up to take care of it."

"Terry will _never_ be here," Vaughn groaned.

"Vaughn's right – we need to settle this ourselves," Allen nodded, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

"How?" Alice asked, spraying her perfume all around her in clouds.

"There's a can of aerosol in the bathroom," Molly suggested, already rising from her seat. "We can try that first and see if it works."

"Good idea," Vaughn agreed.

"That's a trooper!" Allen grinned, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up.

Molly beamed from his compliment, hurrying to fetch the can. She soon returned, reading the label. Molly bit her lip and peered at the trashcan. Holding a hand over her nose and mouth, she pointed the nozzle and sprayed the thick air freshener at it.

Everyone waited. Dan was the first to yell and cover his nose. His eyes watered. "Yow! Now it just smells like shitrus! Somebody's gotta get that thing out of here!"

There was mutual agreement as Molly tossed the can at the ficas and went back to hide from the new awful smell at her desk.

Gill stood, professionally sweeping a hand over his hair. "There is no need. I will go find the janitor myself."

Vaughn scoffed, knowing Terry was better at hide-and-seek than a first grader at Chuck E. Cheese's. There were whispers of office competitions as Gill waited for the elevator. When he stepped inside, he held the doors before they closed. In his best boss voice he shouted: "Everyone – back to work!"

The second the elevator left, there was a mass uproar. Alice was screaming incomprehensible nonsense, Louis was insisting they draw straws, Rod was the only one to suggest getting an ambulance for poor Tina, and Allen demanded Luke's head on a pike.

Molly stood next to Vaughn, watching as everyone argued. She waved a hand at her face to create a breeze. "Maybe we should keep it."

"Keep it?!" He looked down at her, thinking she had gone insane.

"It'd be great prank material," she shrugged. He should've known. Her mind was always on the next big thing.

"I'd like to stuff it in Hamilton's air conditioned office," Vaughn muttered in agreement. The Regional Manager's office had a separate unit, and apparently, Hamilton didn't wish to suffer with his employees at a balmy 72 degrees. Everyone else was roasting in the 90s.

Allen sauntered up holding a small straw. "Vaughn, it's you and me. I picked smallest."

"What? Why?" Vaughn's face was incredulous.

Allen switched his weight to one hip. He gave the signature hair flick. "Because I drew for the both of us. Now what do we do with the sandwich?"

Vaughn grumbled to himself, looking around the office and the expectant faces of everyone around him. Candace's blue-eyed gaze stood out, making him uncomfortably urgent to find a good idea. "The… The window."

"Right!" Allen snapped his fingers. He wound an arm around Vaughn's shoulders. "That's my mad, little genius!"

"Don't touch me," Vaughn grouched.

"Wow, you're so smart!" Alice fawned unnecessarily, seeming to forget she was still shirtless.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rod asked. Again, he was ignored as Vaughn and Allen went to the window with the trashcan.

"A-As long as it's out of here…" Candace agreed.

Everyone watched as they made their way to the window behind Gill's desk. Allen cranked the handle to test if it was open all the way. He nodded.

"Well, here goes—" Vaughn said, lifting the bin and upending it over the sill. The weight slid out slowly.

There was a loud splat below. Vaughn and Allen's eyes went wide. Tossing the trash can aside, they both lunged out of the window, looking below.

A slimy green and white mess was splattered all over the hood of a navy Kia. The parking spot was none other than Gill's. Vaughn and Allen looked at each other in shocked silence. Vaughn gave a slight nod. Allen returned it. They leaned back inside.

"Sh…!" Vaughn held up his hands to the office. Allen made quick slices across his neck behind him.

Everyone scrambled back to their seats, finding something, _anything, _to keep them looking busy. Molly picked up the phone, looking over at Vaughn anxiously. She mouthed: _Gill's car?_

Vaughn only looked down at his desk, hearing her muffled giggles.

Well, at least it seemed to cool down a bit.


	3. A for Effort

Wow, thanks everybody! Specifically IslandGirl892 for giving me a much needed confidence boost on the content, Icefeather for insulting Kia owners everywhere xD, HersheyChoco101 for feeling the heat wave pain, CAPJHMPAgirl for always being there, and Hannah for laughing at my snark. I love you guys – thanks so much for reviewing!

This chapter's a little slow, but I'm going to try to bust out another one soon. If you know me as a writer, my updates are sporadic and a story may disappear and then suddenly come back with ten chapters after a month of down time. I'll try to not be so annoying this time and update more routinely. So let's plan on that!

* * *

**A for Effort**

* * *

"This is the last time."

Denny scoffed. "Ha! Yeah, we both know that's a lie. For all your grumpiness and dark aura, you're a pushover, Vaughn. You'll give me a ride to work whenever I ask you to."

Vaughn grumbled under his breath, swinging the wheel roughly to the right. The mustard-colored junk car nearly hopped the city curb.

"Hey, speaking of pushovers," Denny smiled, hanging on tight to the seat. As per usual, he coped with Vaughn's reckless driving. "How's Candace? You ask her out yet?"

"No," Vaughn bitterly muttered, peering through the flashing windshield wipers as rain pelted the foggy glass. He loved a good summer rain, but it wasn't much to see in a city like this one. It just made everything look greyer. Duller.

Denny shook his dark, curly head. He was a contrast to his best friend in every way. "Man, you've gotta get on that! Next thing you know, she'll be swept away by some douche bag. Or realize she'd rather be a lesbian."

Vaughn looked over at his aqua-clad friend with a disbelieving glare. "What?"

Denny shrugged, staring ahead out the window. The car lurched since Vaughn wasn't paying attention. "It's like what they say. It's always the quiet ones…"

The front wheel caught the sidewalk and shook both passengers. Vaughn quickly swiveled the wheel around counter clockwise to get back onto the road.

"Christ, man! You know, I have to get my own ride – you really can't drive!" Denny tried to laugh off the situation with his bright smile, watching the angry pedestrians yelling behind them.

"You get a license?" Vaughn rolled his eyes, switching on his turn signal and stopping short at the red light. "That sounds about as insane as your girlfriend."

"Hey!" Denny defended, raising a finger. "Lanna's a nice girl!"

"She's psychotic…" he said, hitting the gas as the light turned green.

"She's just really stressed out," he explained. "You would be too if you were in showbiz."

"Denny. Lanna's a YouTuber."

"…Shut up…" Denny mumbled.

He didn't press it further. It wasn't long before Vaughn pulled the old beater up to the curb and parked. The rain thundered down in torrents above their heads. Vaughn looked up through the sunroof at the dark clouds and splashing raindrops, glad he wore a black shirt today.

Denny straightened his apron and pulled his matching aqua colored ball cap on and sighed. "Well, back to work!"

"Don't kill anything today," Vaughn gave the friendly reminder, shifting back into drive.

"That was one time!" Denny opened the car door, the sound of rain drowning out most of his retort. The door slammed behind him, and he gave a thankful wave before running through the automatic doors.

Vaughn pulled away from the aquarium, chuckling at the memory of his friend fishing in one of the salt water exhibits. _How'd he get off with just a warning?!_

* * *

Vaughn shook his wet hair out like a golden retriever the minute he stepped into the lobby. It was quiet and empty – a bad sign. But since Vaughn didn't give a shit, he casually walked over to the soda machine.

A poorly scrawled 'Out of Order' was taped over the Coca-Cola logo. Vaughn looked over the choices and nonchalantly rapped his knuckles on the hollow machine.

There wasn't an immediate response. Vaughn wrung some of the water out of his shirt cuff and pounded on the vending machine with his fist. "Terry, we've got a deal. I don't tell anyone that you emptied this thing so you can hide in it, and you give me free coke. Pay up; I'm running late again."

A red can emerged in the product basin. Vaughn smirked and popped the top open, walking towards the elevator.

"Blackmailer!" The disgruntled machine barked.

Vaughn tasted the drink, wrinkling his nose at its room temperature. "You have a good day, Terry."

"Oh, screw off…" the voice muttered.

The elevator moved slowly, its gears and pulleys cranking like an old roller coaster. Vaughn was juggling excuses in his head for his tardiness, but like always, decided silence was the best answer. The elevator jerked to a stop on floor three, and the doors took their merry time opening to let him out.

Vaughn was surprised to hear… almost nothing. There was the steady thrum of fingers typing away at keyboards, and every now and again, an alert would ring on somebody's monitor. Everyone's noses were deep in their work. The doors leading to Luke and Tina's and Louis and Candace's offices were propped open. With the rain streaming down the only window behind Gill's desk and the fluorescents making the room uncomfortably bright above them, Vaughn was feeling the office was grimmer than usual.

Candace looked up and smiled at Vaughn. She was wearing two braids in her hair – it was his favorite hair style of hers. He held up a stiff hand to wave, but she was already back to work. Alice completely ignored him as he went by her desk. Across from her, Dan was wide awake and scribbling corrections to the latest brochure. The red headband he always wore around his shaggy black hair was missing, and he was looking professional with a full suit and tie. Without looking, Dan held his hand out which Vaughn hit in passing. At least one thing wasn't too different.

Vaughn opened his briefcase and pulled out a report for Molly. He set it on the reception desk. "Did you talk to Rod about the Harmonica brochure? It's due in—"

She was glaring hard at him from her seat. Her hair was done up in a smart updo, and she was wearing her nicest blue blouse. She even had make-up.

"Did somebody die…?" He ventured a guess.

"You're late!" Molly whispered harshly, snatching the papers from him.

"That _never_ happens," Vaughn remarked sarcastically.

"Vaughn, are you crazy?!" Molly asked. "How could you forget – we have performance reviews!"

Vaughn paused. He looked around at the office. Even Rod, his desk stuck between Allen and Alice – poor guy – was wearing a small frown, staring fixedly at his computer screen. Allen had a hand in his hair, concentrating on a stack of papers in front of him. He felt eyes on him and looked up, giving Vaughn a smirk. He tapped his watch.

Vaughn turned back to Molly. "Today?"

"Yes! Duh…" Molly grumbled, settling back to her computer.

Vaughn waited for her to realize. Apparently, she needed a hint. "You know what else was today?"

Molly pursed her lips in confusion. She opened her mouth to ask, but her eyes went wide when she remembered. "You didn't though—?"

"It was your idea," Vaughn said.

"Oh my God," Molly held a hand over her mouth, stifling a laugh. She took a minute to contain herself before she straightened her posture. "Well… this'll be interesting."

Vaughn shrugged and headed to his desk. Everyone's phony work ethic finally made some sense now. There was talk of lay-offs. Since the plan to turn the air off was taken care of by the union, revenue was back to being an issue. The weakest link was sure to go this review season. And Gill would be looking for any excuse to throw someone on the cutting block. But to Vaughn's relief, Gill wasn't sitting ominously across from him. _Had he already-?_

Hamilton's office door swung open. As if anyone couldn't look busier, they did as Hamilton emerged with Gill sauntering behind him, a smug look on his face. Hamilton clapped his hands. The sound echoed. "Heeello, everybody! What a day, hm? So… wet!"

Everybody squirmed.

Hamilton smiled at Gill, giving his shoulder a pat as he took a seat back at his desk. "Great job, Gill! Keep up the good work. Though, try to smile more – you'll never get laid."

Gill blinked stupidly as his co-workers attempted not to laugh at him.

"Well, I just wanted to remind everyone that performance reviews are today! Woohoo!" Hamilton announced happily in the silence.

Since no one was sharing his enthusiasm, Rod attempted to win some brownie points. "Woo!"

Hamilton pointed at him. "That's the spirit! Well! There are two ways we can do this. You can come and privately hear the results of your assessment in my office, or I can just come tell it to your face! Alright. First come first serve!"

Before Vaughn could even think about getting it over with, Allen had scrambled out of his chair and sprinted his way to Hamilton's office. He took a deep breath, hand on his hip. "I'll, uh, just get out of your hair then right away."

"Ah! Excellent! Step right in," Hamilton ushered the red head inside, and they disappeared.

Vaughn picked up his headset and was about to get started on the inevitable missed calls when he caught Gill's snarky smile. "What?"

Gill folded his hands on his desk, still smirking evilly. "I'm just anticipating your indictment."

"My indictment?" Vaughn raised a disinterested eyebrow, shifting through the papers on his cluttered desk. He found a stray pen, shook it hard, and took notes from the messages streaming into his earpiece.

"Late again! You thought I wouldn't notice," Gill claimed victoriously. "My scouting isn't for nothing…"

Vaughn found it easy to picture Gill hiding in the ficas or in an empty cardboard box, following people around the office thinking he was actually incognito. Though he never expected he'd admit to doing it.

"And I've reported you to Mr. Hamilton! Count the hours, Vaughn. I've always told you your tardiness would be your downfall!" Gill said. He opened the bottom drawer of his desk, and Vaughn held his poker face.

"Phew!" Allen sighed, ruffling a pale hand through his hair. He took off his glasses, superficially cleaning them on his cuff. "I knew I had nothing to worry about!"

"Sure," Alice muttered from across the room. "That's why you ran in there with your tail between your legs."

"What is this?" Gill asked, looking up for the first time from the crowded drawer. He was more shocked than angry… for the time being. "What is this?!"

Molly's eyes flicked over to Vaughn's desk, but she didn't dare chance another misgiving glance as she feigned surprise.

"What's what?" Allen asked with a sassy hand on his hip. "If you're mad at the person who dressed you this morning, then I don't blame you. Knickerbockers and a sweater vest? What grade are you in?"

Gill ignored the jab at his current outfit and opened the drawer wider. "Someone's put food in my desk!"

"A gift…?" Rod ventured, peeking up over his cubicle wall.

"Hardly!" Gill shouted, pulling out one of many. "Spinach and mayonnaise sandwiches?!"

"Hey, can I have one?" Luke called from his office door. Tina was on her tip toes to see over him. She snapped a picture and giggled.

"Who did this?" Gill stood, ignoring the request.

Vaughn knew there were twenty-eight sandwiches squished into that drawer. But there was no reason for him to say so. Unless someone asked him, of course. He looked back down at his work, deciding to play it without a fight.

Gill's eyes were locked on Vaughn, his face turning darker shades of red. "Someone thinks this is funny, hm? Because of my car? Well, I'll have you all know that was disgusting, and this is incredibly childish."

"Childish?" Hamilton tried not to sound too excited, swinging back into the room. "Er, I mean – Vaughn, would you like to go next?"

"Sure," Vaughn set down his pen. "You can just tell me here—"

"Mr. Hamilton!" Gill took advantage of the appearance of authority. "Someone put sandwiches in my drawer!"

Hamilton paused. "What a… pleasant surprise?"

"As an immature prank! I'll have to clean the whole drawer out – it's a terrible mess," Gill corrected, tightening the bolo around his neck.

Hamilton waited in the quiet. Vaughn wasn't quite sure if he was still pondering the idea or if he was somewhere completely different. Like Candyland.

Gill needed a sense of urgency from him. He kept his eyes on Vaughn. "Mr. Hamilton, someone vandalized my desk. They should be _disciplined!" _

"Why're you looking at me?" Vaughn challenged darkly, tossing the headset down as he stood.

"I know it's you!" Gill accused. "That time when all of my pens were replaced with crayons? When my mouse was replaced with a pile of jam? When my lunch was replaced with a box of tampons?"

"That was classic!" Dan laughed, slapping his knee.

Gill fumed. "When a rancid sandwich was thrown on my car…!"

"Do you have proof that Vaughn did these things?" Hamilton asked with curiosity.

Molly's nonchalance had cracked as her face was consumed with worry. She never thought their stupid pranks could threaten their jobs. She looked like she was about to say something, but she stopped herself. Allen was eagerly watching both Vaughn and Gill like he was at a tennis match.

Gill opened his mouth, but he closed it and clenched his fist. "I just know! Who else would antagonize me?"

"I would!" Luke volunteered, raising his hand in the air.

"I hate you," Alice offered, also raising her hand. "Does that count?"

Instead of displaying anger, Hamilton was smiling wider and wider. He suddenly let out a loud laugh, slapping Vaughn on the shoulder. "Ha, aren't you a hoot?! Keep up the good work, Vaughn. Ah, you'd be my favorite if you had breasts."

Gill was gaping in horror that Hamilton didn't seem to care for his troubles. Vaughn was thinking over that last comment. "Uh… Thank you, sir."

"Well, that was fun!" Hamilton clapped his hands again. "Who's next?"

As the boss ventured around to talk to Rod, Vaughn and Gill returned to their seats. Gill was glaring him down as if he could drive pins into him by doing so. "This isn't over, Vaughn… I'll collect the evidence. One day, you will pay…"

"Sure thing, knickerbockers," Vaughn rolled his eyes, and set his feet up on his desk.

Luke appeared and began demanding sandwiches. Tina continued to snap annoying pictures. As they argued, Vaughn relaxed in his swivel chair and picked up his forgotten can of soda.


	4. For a Friend

I can't believe I got nine reviews last chapter. That was craziness! And it's been craziness working in retail this time of year, so my writing got put on the back burner. But I'm glad to post another chapter for you guys! Thanks so much HersheyChoco101, Cotton Candy Mareep for three catch-up reviews, Icefeather, CAPJHMPAgirl, and MikariStar for three reviews, too! I love hearing who your favorite characters are, guys. It helps and makes me smile. :D

* * *

**For a Friend**

* * *

The young receptionist crossed her arms impatiently, staring down at the messy silver head of hair. Vaughn was concentrating hard over a mass of papers. His pen was scribbling so fast, it looked like he was writing an essay.

"Vaughn, what's wrong with you?" Molly asked, miffed that he was ignoring her. Luckily, she brought an arsenal.

Candace peered out from behind her shoulder. "N-Not with you, but… is there something the matter? You're working awful hard…"

Molly smirked victoriously when Vaughn looked up for Candace's voice. His eyes scanned them for a moment before he flushed slightly because she was worried about him. "I'm fine, Candace. Just… working."

"Working? On what?" Molly peeked over his desk light curiously.

"Something big," Allen hugged the corner of Vaughn's cubicle, peering in. "You know he got here before _me_ this morning?"

"You mean he came in on time?!" Molly asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Yup!" Rod popped up behind Allen, propping his elbows up on the cubicle wall and forming a suffocating circle around poor Vaughn. "I'm always first here – well, except for Gill. Gill lives here. But Vaughn clocked in at eight this morning."

"Eight?!" Molly was looking around for the real Vaughn at this point.

"Th-that's good… Right? We shouldn't bother him…" Candace tugged on Molly's sleeve like a child pulling on her mother's skirt.

"Bother? Somebody ring for me?" Luke came waltzing out of his office.

"Sure, gather round! See the freak show of a man hard at work in this office," Allen spread his arms out to Vaughn like Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune.

"Ooo! A juicy story!" Tina ran up behind Luke with her camera lens already poised for a shot. Everyone knew she desperately needed to be a member of the paparazzi with her talent to annoy like a fly buzzing around the ear, but her attention span of a goldfish would easily get her lost taking pictures of clouds.

"Candace? Uh… what's going on out here?" Louis arrived late to the party, shoulders slumped insecurely and hands dug deep in his pockets.

Alice pushed her way through the wall of her co-workers and slid onto the edge of Vaughn's desk, seductively crossing her legs and playing with her shirt collar. "Maybe he'll tell _me_ what he's so interested in…"

Molly rolled her eyes. Candace shielded hers in fear of seeing something unholy.

"So what's going on, Vaughn?"

"What are you writing?"

"Why are we all over here?!"

"Luke, get off my foot!"

"Sheesh, Alice, pull your skirt down!"

"Maybe it's a resignation letter?"

"He's quitting?"

"Who's quitting?"

"Is Allen quitting?"

"Woohoo!"

"_Hey!_"

"This…" Vaughn grumbled. Though his voice was dark and low, everyone shut up to hear what he had to say for curiosity's sake. "-is why I hate people. Except Dan."

Though everyone was sure he was asleep, curled in a ball with his face planted against his desk, Dan punched the air triumphantly before his arm flopped back down.

"Rude," Alice huffed, primping her hair.

"If you clowns are done gawking, I need to finish this. And if I don't get this done, I'll have to stay after hours, and _that will not make me happy_," Vaughn snapped. "Will you all just get away from my desk?!" Allen made a grab for one of the papers, but Vaughn shielded it away from him, smacking his hand away in the process.

Gill emerged from the break room where the copy machine was kept. A stack of neatly lined up fliers were in his arms as he looked around at all of the employees crowding around Vaughn, but what appeared to be his own desk. "What are you people doing? If I find a single sandwich near my desk, I'll—!"

"Ah!" Hamilton waddled out of the conference room. All heads turned to him in surprise. "Good. You're all here! We have a special guest all the way from corporate today. To the conference room – single file! Hottest first! Four-Eyes to the back of the line!"

"Aw…" Louis sunk his head lower, falling in line behind a sympathetic Rod.

Vaughn growled, throwing down his pen and gathering the papers in a disorganized pile.

"S-Sorry, Vaughn…" Candace said in barely a whisper. Her eyes avoided him as she made her way to the conference room. "I hope you don't have to stay after because of us…"

Vaughn watched pathetically as she left. In frustration, he rubbed his hands over his face. "Way to go – make her feel bad for no reason."

"Don't worry," Molly roughly patted his shoulder. She smiled brightly. "I'm sure you didn't ruin your chances by showing how big of a grumpy jerk you are. She'll come around!"

Vaughn scowled, closing the door to the conference room behind them with a bang.

The only open seats left were against the wall, so Vaughn found himself seated between Molly and Gill. He looked around at the gathering, seeing Dan still nodding off and looking grumpy after Luke and Tina dragged him away from his desk. Alice was filing her nails next to Allen front and center. Vaughn finally spotted Candace across the room seated beside Louis and Rod in the corner. _Did he scare her? _She looked upset._ He barely even said anything! It wasn't aimed at her anyway… _

_Whap!_ "Ow!" Vaughn grabbed the back of his head from the slap it received.

"Quit staring!" Molly whispered beside him. "It's creepy…"

Vaughn folded his arms across his chest grumpily (and in slight embarrassment as his blush showed), his frown growing deeper as he slouched into his chair.

Hamilton clapped his hands, looking over the emotionless faces staring back up at him. He turned to Gill who was still holding the fliers. "Oh, good! You printed off the handouts!"

"Just as you asked, sir," Gill nodded proudly. "Hot off the copy machine. Heated like my dedication."

"Super!" Hamilton said, putting on his announcer voice. "Pass those around. Everyone, make sure you get one of the fliers, so you can follow along. Or make paper airplanes because YAWN! Am I right? Am I right?"

Vaughn finally noticed a well-dressed, pink haired young woman looking rather miffed at Hamilton's insult to her program at the front of the room. She was rather pretty… Until she opened her mouth, letting out an ear-splitting giggle. Vaughn winced.

Her frizzy, curly hair bounced with her movements even though she had a headband to tame it. She wore a very professional dark red business blazer and matching skirt. She sidestepped Hamilton to get to the front of attention. "Mr. Hamilton, if you would please take a seat, I'll begin!"

Hamilton winked at her, sitting down in a lone chair by the door. The girl pretended to not see it as she cleared her throat, looked over the tightly packed group before her, and let out another irritating giggle. "My name is Popuri! I was chosen from the Persuasive Papers corporate office in Flower Bud City to come here today to talk to your sector about a few complaints we've received."

Everyone looked around suspiciously, hoping this wasn't going to be some fire and brimstone lecture about keeping their act together. Especially since no one would be able to take it seriously when it was coming from a cupcake of a girl named _Popuri_.

Popuri giggled again, holding a hand over her mouth. "Not to worry! All such complaints are kept completely anonymous. Do you all have a flier now? Then you'll see by the title that I'm here to talk to you about company policy and diversity in the office!"

"Is this Comic Sans? How are we supposed to take this seriously?" Molly whispered.

Vaughn looked over the list as Popuri went over communication and workplace safety. "We were going to take this seriously?"

Molly shrugged in agreement, checking her cell phone. Vaughn watched the screen light up as she started to play Temple Run.

"Persuasive Papers highly prides itself on its acceptance policies," Popuri spouted word for word what they could have easily found in their employee handbooks if they bothered to open them. "No matter your age, race, gender, religion, or handicap, Persuasive Papers does not discriminate! Um… yes?"

Heads turned to Allen who had his hand in the air. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "What about preferences?"

"Um…" Popuri was confused, her perfect circuitry sparking at the unexpected question. "I'm sorry?"

"Preferences, you know. Like, what if I'm into BDSM?"

Popuri blinked her large, innocent eyes. "Excuse me?"

Allen licked his lips. Alice held a hand over her mouth to stop her from laughing outright.

"Um, that is no business of the company, but… again, no matter the category – Persuasive Papers does not discriminate against its employees!" Popuri bravely finished, hiding her flustered face as Allen cracked his imaginary whip at her.

"Let's move on to diversity!" She quickly began. "Diversity is a very important aspect in the workplace. Persuasive Papers believes its varied employees are its greatest strength. The inclusion of our differences—"

Dan let out a loud snore from his spot in the corner, garnering Popuri's attention. "Excuse me! Sir?"

"Oh, no," Hamilton held a hand up to stop her. Popuri looked down in surprise. "Don't wake him. He does what he wants."

"What?" Popuri barely formed the word.

"He's our token black guy. He does what he wants," Hamilton repeated.

Popuri gaped in horror at his callousness. "That is _not_ what diversity is about—!"

"Let's change the subject, shall we?" Hamilton stood, ignoring her protests. "Like… how well-endowed you are…"

"Excuse me?!" Popuri clutched her collar closed and away from Hamilton's prying eyes. Allen let out a whistle.

"Mr. Hamilton!" Alice whined, stuffing her bra with Gill's stolen handkerchief.

"Hush, Miss C-cup. There is a Queen D in our presence!" Hamilton was all but bowing in reverence.

Alice sighed in defeat, upset that her sexual attention crown had been stolen.

"I-I-I think we've gotten off topic!" Popuri desperately tried to win back the show. "D-Diversity—!

* * *

_Poor girl…_ Vaughn shook his head. He watched as Popuri struggled with her briefcase and easel to the elevator door. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, waiting for the light. The doors slowly creaked open, revealing Terry and his mop. She entered and pressed the button panel. Popuri felt eyes on her and quickly squeezed herself as far as she could into the corner. Terry gave her a grin, making her squeak and hold the easel out in front of her like a weapon as the doors closed.

Vaughn shook his head again, plopping down in his uncomfortable swivel chair. His desk light became the brightest light in the room since Gill had left the building and insisted all of the fluorescents be shut down not a second after five. He sighed, waiting for the last of the workers to leave the office so he could finally finish his work in peace.

A slight shuffle passed his desk and waited. Vaughn looked up and foolishly jumped to straighten his posture and tie when he saw Candace's big blue eyes watching him.

"Is there anything I can help with… maybe? So… So you can get done faster?" She offered quietly.

Vaughn looked down, trying to keep his cool. "Uh, no, not really… just busy work."

"Okay…" Candace smiled sweetly. "Good night, Vaughn. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Thanks though!" He blurted, only catching her last sentence too late. He shook his head, scolding himself. "Uh, tomorrow?"

"The f-fall picnic?" She reminded, tilting her head slightly to the side. _Why was she so cute?!_ "You'll be there, right?"

"Oh," Vaughn nodded. The company had two annual picnics, one in spring and one in the fall. He was surprised it had come so soon. It wasn't exactly something he ever looked forward to, but at least they always had free food. Even if he had to see his coworkers on a Saturday to get it. "Yeah. Of course."

"Oh, good!" Candace sighed in relief. "I w-wouldn't know what to do if… Well, Molly will be there, b-but I'd like it if… um… Good night!"

Vaughn wanted to reach out, drag her back, make her say… _What was she gonna say?!_ But Candace had quickly waved and hurried for the stairs, the door to the stair well swinging closed behind her as he dumbly watched, not even registering a good-bye for her in return.

He face planted, harshly ruffling his hair in all directions. When he finally emerged from his aggravations, there was a pile of work to be done before him. Propping his forehead in his hand, Vaughn picked up his pen and started again where he left off with a sigh.

Soon, clipped footsteps that were quite different from Candace's approached and stopped before his desk. Vaughn was too engrossed in his writing to care, so the person cleared their throat. Still to no avail, they took more drastic measures to get his attention and leaned over the lamp to blow in his hair.

"Working," Vaughn answered shortly.

Alice pouted, hopping up on his desk as she did earlier. Her mini skirt was too short for such a feat, but she hardly cared – neither did Vaughn. He was very used to ignoring her, something that drove her up the wall. "You're no fun~! Hm. You're awful quiet, too."

"Working," his testy answer came again.

"What _are_ you doing?" Alice situated herself more comfortably. She swung her legs back and forth, picking up his stapler to examine it. "You never come in early. Or stay late…"

Vaughn swiped the stapler out of her grasp, setting it back down on his desk away from her. "Give me that before you hurt yourself."

Though he was good at making anyone feel like an idiot, Alice still wasn't deterred. She cleared a bigger spot by pushing away his things and swung her legs around so she was facing him. "Vaughn~ What's the big deal?"

Before he could get it away from her, Alice had snatched a paper and skimmed it. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "A brochure? Are you making a brochure? By yourself?"

Vaughn succeeded in taking the paper from her, putting it safely with the others. "I wasn't about to let Luke and Tina screw this up."

"Why?" Alice wondered.

"It's… for an old friend," he said.

Alice looked past him to see an order form. "Taro?"

"…Yeah."

Things grew quiet as Alice watched him work. She prodded him with her foot, but he wasn't responding. With a sigh and a shrug, she started to unbutton her shirt.

Vaughn finally looked up. "_What_ are you doing?"

"Well, Allen's busy…" she stated matter-of-factly.

"You're kidding me."

Alice looked him over, avoiding his glare. "Well, why not? Nobody's here. Just us…"

"No," he flatly rejected her, going back to his work.

She laughed, not wanting to believe him. "Now _you're_ kidding _me_, right?"

"Working," Vaughn went back to his one liner, jotting down Sunshine Island's most notable products.

Alice was dumbfounded, her shirt hanging open. "What? You can't be serious. _Look_ at me!"

Vaughn sighed and put down his pen. Alice happily straightened her posture, expecting she finally won. He did as she asked and looked at her. "Sorry, Alice. Not my type."

"And what's that?" She grumbled under her breath, quickly buttoning her shirt. "Candace?"

"Yeah," he admitted simply.

Alice frowned, once again presentable. She shook her head. "I don't get it, but… whatever."

Grateful to be left alone, Vaughn went to finish the last few sections of the advertisement. Alice still didn't move, a small smile on her lips as she watched him. "Go home," he grunted.

The smile only grew wider but not as genuine. She purred, combing her fingers through her straightened silver hair. "Well, if you were staying after… You're always too busy to get a few drinks with me, so this was the closest I was going to get."

Vaughn rolled his eyes.

"You know… it's pretty sweet. What you're doing. For a friend," Alice commented, the genuine smile returning for a moment. The harsh light from the desk lamp didn't reach her enough, basking her in a yellow glow like a campfire. She sighed in defeat. "I'm an editor, after all. Let me help you."

"No," Vaughn's quipped answers continued.

Alice hopped off his desk and wriggled her way under his arm, sitting herself on his lap.

"Get off," his demand came quicker than the previous ones.

"Oh, come on," Alice crossed her arms. "You have to stay after, and I'm not going anywhere if you aren't. Just let me look over your work, so you don't make a bigger fool of yourself."

Vaughn sat back, swiveling his chair so Alice could get off of him easier. "Fine. Only if you get off of me before I throw you."

Alice giggled, biting her lip. "I knew you'd say yes!"

She snatched a handful of papers off of his desk and stood, ruffling his hair. Vaughn swatted her hand away and smoothed his hair down like it had a place to be. Alice looked around for a comfortable place to sit, finally deciding on the floor next to his file cabinet. She leaned against the cubicle, riffling through the stack for a beginning.

There were a few moments of tense silence as Vaughn's heart raced, actually concerned with what she would think. Alice twisted her lips as she read, her expression not giving away her thoughts. A few paragraphs down, her face softened. "You're a good writer."

For the first time, Vaughn felt like Alice wasn't the terrible, selfish person she always flaunted about the office. But before he could say 'thank you,' she scoffed.

"You used the wrong 'there,'" she smirked, looking over the papers at him. "How old are you?"

"Shut up!" Vaughn's defensiveness bit back.

Alice laughed, holding the papers away from him. She insisted she stay until she had read everything that Vaughn had written so far. And she did.


End file.
